I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
