I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
