You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
