Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
