Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
