It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
