"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
