Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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