I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My first STD was from a foam party
worst night to have a conscience
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
