i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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