my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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