My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
