don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
As shirtless as possible
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
