Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
