Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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