At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
