you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
