yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
