I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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