her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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