erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
