The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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