Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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