I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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