Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
