Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
