ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We have so much sex to catch up on
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
