Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
