like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
