So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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