like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
