Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
