dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
