stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
