Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
