I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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