My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
