Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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