Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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