i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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