): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
