Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
