Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
