this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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