YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
