I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
