it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
