no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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