you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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