I wish I could teleport
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
