Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
